How to Train Your Dragon

As expected from DreamWorks these days, very cute and funny (also made me teary!) Not quite up to par with the wonderful Kung Fu Panda, but still fun.

I found Gerard Butler's voice a smidge distracting, but it might be because I watched Timeline the night before seeing this, and his Scottish accent was fresh in my mind. But don't worry, everything else (including awesome voice actors in Jonah Hill, Craig Ferguson, America Ferrera and Jay Baruchel; and the cuteness of that damn dragon) makes up for it.

ETA: I also forgot to mention: the music is awesome! And in case its not clear enough: I would totally pay to go see this again and I'll most likely own it ;)

HOT TUB TIME MACHINE!

Holy fucking shit, Hot Tub Time Machine. I haven't laughed this hard in a movie theater maybe ever. It's perfectly cast, tightly written, well-edited, and is probably the smartest "stupid" movie ever made. I cannot recommend this movie highly enough. HOT TUB TIME MACHINE!

I Was Right

Yeah, Alice in Wonderland was boring as crap.

Alice in Wonderland

Johnny Depp's version of the Mad Hatter in this movie consisted of him mixing up a bunch of his other characters (including, but not limited to, Jack Sparrow, Willy Wonka and James Barrie, with a dash of Ichabod Crane and maybe some Sweeney Todd), with horrible results.

The only parts of this movie I liked were Anne Hathaway and the Cheshire Cat.

Movies I Don't Want to See: Alice in Wonderland

Tim Burton is working my last goddamned nerve with his derivative bullshit and his sticking his stupid wife into every movie. I really don't want to see Alice in Wonderland, but I probably will because it's playing at the Vista and at least I'll get to dance to the jazzy pre-movie song about POPCORN! SODA!

Shutter Island

This movie would be a fantastic psychological thriller except for its near total lack of psychological thrills and general non-fantastic-ness. However, I didn't hate this movie as much as Mary. I got to sit in a theater and eat popcorn and drink soda and watch Leonardo di-what's-his-face run around a spooky island, which is not a bad way to spend a snowy afternoon.

When in Rome...

I did not have high hopes for this one going in, but was pleasantly surprised. I liked it! It was funny, and seemed to make fun of itself a bit, which always pleases me. This is the movie I wish stupid Leap Year HAD been (and could've been if they'd tried harder).

I mean, its a Rom-com. You know how it ends. But in-between there were some quality funny bits. Also, Anjelica Houston is awesome.

My only major beef is that Rome looked much cleaner than I expect it would in real life. One day I will actually go there and find out.

Shitter Island

OK, here's my theory on Shutter Island. Leonardo DiCaprio had some Boston accent left over from his role in The Departed and didn't want to waste it, so Martin Scorsese just said "ehh, let's throw it in this crappy screenplay I just got the rights to."

Also, you know how all the film nerds (me included) hated the very last shot in The Departed? When the stupid rat runs along the stupid railing all "GET IT? THIS MOVIE WAS ABOUT A GUY BEING A RAAAAT!"? Well, Marty throws about a hundred thousand rats into a scene in Shutter Island APROPOS OF ABSOLUTELY NOTHING just to say "fuck you, film nerds. You didn't like my one rat? How about these hundred thousand rats? Huh? How you like that?" [wiggling eyebrows]

He also got his hands on a cello and a piano and did all the music himself. HOOOOOOONK! ME AND LEO CAN DO IT ALL OURSELVES! WE DON'T NEED YOU, FILM NERDS! PLINK! PLONK!

Boy, I did not enjoy this movie at all.

Saint John of Las Vegas

Pleased to meet you, Saint John of Las Vegas. I'm Saint Mary of Bored Out Of Her Goddamn Mind.

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I liked this movie better when it was called Dances with Wolves. That was a shitty movie, but at least it wasn't a shitty video game. Plus it had buffalo.