Paul

I liked Paul, but as a fan of Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, it pains me to say it could've been better. It felt like a movie that started out with a much funnier screenplay, then was test-screened and focus-grouped into a dumber, less funny movie designed to appeal to 14-year-old boys instead of the 35-to-40-year-old nerds for which it was originally written. I mean, come on--who's going to get the Star Wars and Aliens and Raiders of the Lost Ark references--a kid born in 1997, or me, the aforementioned 35-to-40-year-old nerd? THE ANSWER IS ME YOUR HONOR I REST MY CASE!

That said, Paul is entertaining and has Kristen Wiig in it, so you should probably go see it. Not every movie can be Shaun of the Dead, especially when Edgar Wright isn't involved. It's just a bummer to see something that so clearly started off awesome and then ended up less so.

Drive Angry SHOT IN 3D!

William Fichtner's performance in this movie is the best thing I've seen in a while. He's basically doing a Nicolas Cage impersonation and it's totally amazing.

The rest of the movie is fine. It makes the right amount of not-sense and Nicolas Cage says "I never disrobe before gunplay" right before KILLING A THOUSAND BAD GUYS while SMOKING A CIGAR and DRINKING JACK DANIELS and oh yeah FUCKING A LADY.

Take Me Home Tonight. Wow.

The first 20 minutes of Take Me Home Tonight are mind-bogglingly unpleasant and ill-advised. I don't know what the rest is like since that's when we stomped out and got a refund.

On the upside, I saw DUDAMEL in the lobby.

DRIVE ANGRY!

A typical Nicolas Cage movie. Stuff blows up, he has awful hair, the plot is flimsy.

Actually, the best part of this movie is William Fichtner. He is deadpan and awesome.

Liam Neeson Has A Very Particular Set of Skills

If you haven't seen Taken, I recommend you remedy that immediately. Liam Neeson yells and punches his way across France in the most amazing fashion, plus he says "WHAT I DO HAVE IS A VERY PARTICULAR SET OF SKILLS".

Unknown is no Taken. It's all right, but Liam Neeson is kind of timid and does not claim to have any particular skill set at all except for insisting everyone call him Doctor. He does that a lot. I made up for this movie's shortcomings by whispering many terrible "what I do have is a very particular set of [fill in the blank]" punjokes to my boyfriend.

I won't spoil anything for you guys, but let's just say someone in this movie has a very particular set of vials.

Black Swan

I thought I'd be really annoyed by Black Swan, but I wasn't. It was interesting the whole way through, so I think it was good? Right? That French guy with the triangle head is always fun. You guys should watch Mesrine.

I guess the main thing this movie did was confirm my suspicion that ballet is a horrible torture thing that does bad stuff to your nails and also ballerinas are too skinny.

Lady Blogpants' Best of 2010

2010 was definitely not as good for movies as 2009, but I managed to scrape together five I didn't hate. These are them!

5. Hot Tub Time Machine
OK, this movie isn't nearly as good upon second viewing at home, as opposed to first viewing at The Vista after a couple of El Chavo margaritas. But I still maintain it's a very good comedy. The editor, George Folsey Jr., also worked on Animal House and The Blues Brothers, and dude knows his shit.

4. The Social Network
Not as great as everyone says, but pretty damn good thanks to its screenplay and directing. As I predicted, Armie Hammer wasn't nominated for an Oscar for his amazing Winklevossing, which is a shame. But at least Justin Timberlake wasn't nominated either. His hair is too goddamn curly.

3. True Grit
This is just an excellent, straightforward western. I wish it had been more Coen Brothers-y, but I can't really complain about such a beautifully made movie.

2. Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World
Unlike Hot Tub Time Machine, this movie gets better every time I see it. So much happens so quickly that I really missed a lot on first viewing, but now I'm comfortable ranking it very close to Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz. On a related note, director Edgar Wright is now my new secret movie director boyfriend and I will be VERY SAD if he ever makes a bad movie.

The one flaw in Scott Pilgrim is the Ramona Flowers character; it's hard to get past how boring and unlikable she is even though I know, I know, Scott Pilgrim is the type of shallow douchebag who would like a one-dimensional cipher like Ramona.

1. Rare Exports
I can't think of anything I'd change about Rare Exports. It's pretty perfect--original, well-written, hilarious, AND it stars a child actor I don't want to murder. RARE EXPORTS!

Black Swan: Blacker Than You'd Think (but not in a racist way)

This movie contains 100% more blood and lesbian sex than I anticipated for a Natalie Portman ballet movie. Well played, creepy director!

The Second Coming of Tron

Tron movies, what have you become?!?

Harry Potter and the Speech of the Stuttering Prince

The King's Speech is pretty good except for the casting of Winston Churchill. The filmmakers picked the actor who played Wormtail in Harry Pottah and he spent the whole movie making a "look how hard I'm being Winston Churchill" face that cracked me up every time it was on screen.

I guess the good news is that now my brother and his girlfriend and I are constantly doing Winston Churchill impersonations and probably will be for a couple of weeks.