I saw Attack the Block again and it continues to be awesome. It's finally been released in the U.S., so if you live in Los Angeles, New York, Seattle, Chicago, Austin, or San Francisco you can see it now. Starting August 19th, you can also see it in Boston, Orlando, Dallas, Atlanta, DC, or Phoenix.
If you live in Reno, you can instead see the exact same eight shitty movies that are playing at all four theaters in town, since they're all conveniently owned by the same company. I hear Glee in 3D hasn't technically killed anybody yet.
August 13, 2011
August 11, 2011
Cowboys and Aliens
I don't know what the hell you people are bitching about. Did you see how tight Daniel Craig's clothes were in this movie? Dude wore the fuck out of those chaps, plus his shirt came open or off a LOT. Did we have to look at any naked ladies? NO. Harrison Ford grandpa'd it up all over the Old West, and Sam Rockwell was even in it as the cutest old-timey bartender I ever did see.
This was a veritable cornucopia of hot guys past and present, with beautiful New Mexico locations and surprisingly accurate set and costume design. Plus aliens. What more can you possibly ask for? More hotness? Possibly, but if this movie had Ewan McGregor in it too I would've fainted right onto my fainting couch.
Yes, it was way too long, but on the whole I consider it a little gift from heaven...OR OUTER SPACE!
This was a veritable cornucopia of hot guys past and present, with beautiful New Mexico locations and surprisingly accurate set and costume design. Plus aliens. What more can you possibly ask for? More hotness? Possibly, but if this movie had Ewan McGregor in it too I would've fainted right onto my fainting couch.
Yes, it was way too long, but on the whole I consider it a little gift from heaven...OR OUTER SPACE!
Franco of the Planet of the Apes
This movie is completely idiotic, but it's not like you don't know that going in, so I'm not going to waste time making a list of every stupid thing that was stupid even by CGI monkey movie standards.
What I will do is tell you I got shushed by my own companions twice during this movie. Once, after a character talked about profit and money and the bottom line for the 18th time in 3 minutes and I yelled SO WHAT'S THIS GUY'S MOTIVATION? And then again, when John fucking Lithgow showed up with crazy eyes and started playing the piano and I went OH NO. I stayed pretty quiet for all the monkey parts, though.
YES I KNOW APES AREN'T MONKEYS
What I will do is tell you I got shushed by my own companions twice during this movie. Once, after a character talked about profit and money and the bottom line for the 18th time in 3 minutes and I yelled SO WHAT'S THIS GUY'S MOTIVATION? And then again, when John fucking Lithgow showed up with crazy eyes and started playing the piano and I went OH NO. I stayed pretty quiet for all the monkey parts, though.
YES I KNOW APES AREN'T MONKEYS
Bridesmaids
With some tighter editing, better writing for Maya Rudolph, and the excision of the food poisoning scene (aka Hey 14 Year Old Boys Look at Us We're Puking and Shitting Too This Isn't a Chick Flick Tell Your Friends), this would have been one of the best comedies ever made. As it is, it's a solid movie with a lot of hilarious laffs and some good believable characters--Kristin Wiig and Melissa McCarthy's manage to balance out Rose Byrne and Maya Rudolph's weirdly one-dimensional ones. Plus it has Roy from the IT Crowd! Hi Roy! I was Moss at Comic-Con!
The main thing about this movie, though, is that it was clearly written by women, for women, with jokes that are aimed at women*, and unlike most movies supposedly for women, it actually LIKES WOMEN. Thanks, Kristin Wiig! I haven't seen a movie written FOR ME since, what, Thelma and Louise? Is this what it feels like for 14-year-old boys every time they go to the movies? DADDY LIKE!
Bridesmaids: see it if you like things that are rad!
*Exhibit A: when Wiig tells Jon Hamm about her fictitious other boyfriend "George Glass" and he mushes her boob around like every other guy who's never learned what nipples are for and says "yeah but can he do THIS?" and she says "Probably." My buddy and I died laughing all over the theater. Also, George Glass was Jan Brady's imaginary boyfriend, so that's pretty awesome.
The main thing about this movie, though, is that it was clearly written by women, for women, with jokes that are aimed at women*, and unlike most movies supposedly for women, it actually LIKES WOMEN. Thanks, Kristin Wiig! I haven't seen a movie written FOR ME since, what, Thelma and Louise? Is this what it feels like for 14-year-old boys every time they go to the movies? DADDY LIKE!
Bridesmaids: see it if you like things that are rad!
*Exhibit A: when Wiig tells Jon Hamm about her fictitious other boyfriend "George Glass" and he mushes her boob around like every other guy who's never learned what nipples are for and says "yeah but can he do THIS?" and she says "Probably." My buddy and I died laughing all over the theater. Also, George Glass was Jan Brady's imaginary boyfriend, so that's pretty awesome.
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