Thor 2, Frozen, The Croods (DVD)

We bloggers were informed that we are horrible human beings for not updating this blog regularly, especially when some of us have actually seen movies.  SORRY.

So, without further ado, Thor 2!

I really enjoyed this.  It has the same pleasant mixture of humor, sci-fi awesomeness, and action that the first Thor did.  Also, Tom Hiddleston has somehow weaseled his way into my affections by being a bad guy.  I don't even know.  My only complaint is that somewhere between the first film and this one Odin turned into a giant asshole.  The hell?

Frozen:
I enjoyed Olaf, the snowman, way more than I anticipated.  This movie was pretty cute, and has a nice little love story of the family kind (though, since its Disney, they did throw in a little romantic love too).  Not my favorite of the animated films I've seen this year, but it was fun. I have mixed feelings on Idina Menzel's singing...part of me adores her, but part of me wishes she didn't belt out everything ALL the time.  I actually like single/Demi Lovato version of "Let it Go" better than the one in the movie, which is probably sacrilege.  Kristen Bell was amazing, though (I had no idea she could sing--you go, girl!)

The Croods:
I rented this on a whim over New Years Eve because my father and I are both 12 and still love animated features.  A friend (with kids) had been forced to see this at some point and had been pleasantly surprised by it, so I decided to give it a chance.

You guys.  It is gorgeous.  The animation is amazeballs, its funny, and I was highly pleased.  Dreamworks has completely cemented itself into my heart (How To Train Your Dragon gets most of the credit for that, though).  Blog favorite Nicolas Cage is the voice of the father, which is both amazing and hilarious. Nicolas Cage is kind of cartoon anyway, so it works.

Star Trek: Into Darkness

YAY STAR TREK!

I am pleased to report that the second new Star Trek film is very good.  I was a little worried it would be a plot repeat in the beginning, but it worked out.  I also now understand the fascination with Benedict Cumberbatch's voice--he shall make an excellent Smaug, for sure.

My only minor complaint is that I'm worried they're starting to get a little *too* silly with McCoy, which is a shame because I love Karl Urban's portrayal--dial it back, J.J.

I loved a lot of the effects in the film (especially the warp "trail') and I actually (gasp) enjoyed and noticed the 3D in this movie.  This is new for me...I'm  not sure how to feel about it.

The Revengers

So bored by this nonsense. Two and a half hours is too long, especially when most of it is just CGI stuff bonking into other CGI stuff. That time would have been much better spent on Hulk ripping people in half and everyone else taking off their shirts.

Here's a picture of me watching this movie.

The Avengers

Holy shit, this was the best thing ever.

John Carter

When I first saw the previews for this, I was like, "Meh." But then I got to talking to my Dad about it (who is to blame for my Sci-Fi love) and he started explaining the story to me and I got really interested--so we went to see it.

I actually quite liked it! The story was pretty solid; it had funny moments, the romantic parts weren't too gooey, it had a half naked hot guy doing cool things, and the most important part: THEY DIDN'T OVER DO THE SPECIAL EFFECTS OR FIGHT SCENES.

So often these days, filmmakers go way overboard with this 3D stuff and computer generated crap. It goes on for forever for absolutely no reason (I'm looking at you, pod race in Star Wars Episode 1, and also at you Davy Jones fight sequence over a swirling vortex of oceany death in Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End). This movie didn't do that. The action/war bits weren't boring and drawn out, and they even cut to the fucking chase at one point by having the hero kill someone within seconds (when you thought you'd get stuck watching a fight scene). Well played, movie! Obviously there were special effects, and most of them were super great (especially the aliens). There were a couple of action moments where I could tell it was green-screen, but overall the special effects weren't crazy and ridiculous, which I appreciated.

The only bit I wasn't sure about was Taylor Kitsch's voice-over--it was pretty monotone. His actual on-screen performance wasn't as bad (though it may have been helped by the aforementioned half-nakedness.)

Hey girl, I made you a movie

I finally saw this movie last night after weeks (months?) of everyone I know saying OH you have GOT to see DRIVE. I was waiting for it to come to the New Beverly, which as you know, is the best place on earth. At this particular showing, there were a lot more people than usual who weren't New Beverly regulars, and one guy decided to try to make a loud jokey comment. He tried three times, and each time was instantly and loudly SHHHH'd by a vigilant regular, and it was simply delightful. WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE, NEW GUY.

Anyway, Drive is really good. It looks cool, sounds good, and is very well shot and edited so it has a distinctive rhythm. Okay, it's basically a 90-minute music video, but for some reason it works. I thought I might hate this movie, but I didn't.

Clooney Is Human :(

Well, Ides of March has all the components of a good movie, but is somehow not good. Gosling's character does a total 180 with no explanation or believable backstory, Evan Rachel Wood's character is likewise unbelievable (plus Wood is THE FUCKING WORST in EVERYTHING), and Clooney hardly Clooneys at all. I don't want to talk about it.

Cowboys and Aliens

I don't know what the hell you people are bitching about. Did you see how tight Daniel Craig's clothes were in this movie? Dude wore the fuck out of those chaps, plus his shirt came open or off a LOT. Did we have to look at any naked ladies? NO. Harrison Ford grandpa'd it up all over the Old West, and Sam Rockwell was even in it as the cutest old-timey bartender I ever did see.

This was a veritable cornucopia of hot guys past and present, with beautiful New Mexico locations and surprisingly accurate set and costume design. Plus aliens. What more can you possibly ask for? More hotness? Possibly, but if this movie had Ewan McGregor in it too I would've fainted right onto my fainting couch.

Yes, it was way too long, but on the whole I consider it a little gift from heaven...OR OUTER SPACE!

Cowboys Vs. Aliens Vs. Indiana Jones Vs. Indians Vs. Aliens

I have not been so disappointed in a movie since Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Even Shia LaBeouf couldn't have made this movie any worse. Well, maybe he could have. Anyway, the point is, I don't understand how you could make a movie with Daniel Craig, Harrison Ford, cowboys, and aliens, and have it be so infuriatingly dull. At first it was fun watching Harrison Ford enjoy hamming up his awful, one-dimensional robot cowboy character, but eventually even he got bored with it. My advice to the purveyors of this crap: go back and add lots of nude Daniel Craig. Oh yeah, and take out all the dialogue and all the other characters. Then this movie would suck less.

X-Men: First Class

I had high hopes going into this one. James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender? YES PLEASE. (You may recall my weird crush on Fassbender from previous posts).

SPOILERS AHOY!


I was a little disappointed, to be honest. Sure, there's decent special effects and action (I sort of loved the sequence where Erik/Magneto goes into the South American bar and causes havok--HAHAHA no pun intended!!), though to be honest, I hated the effect for Emma Frost's "diamond" form--boo! I also didn't like that they had Mystique and Prof. X meet as children and become like...best buddies/brother and sister. What? If my googling skills are up to par, I'm pretty sure that's not at all what happens in the comics. SIGH.

Also, while they did develop a friendship between Magneto and Prof. X (which was bromance at its best), it ended really quickly--I had gotten the impression from the other films (which may or may not have anything to do with this one?? I'm unsure) that they were friends for YEARS and YEARS before having their falling out--I mean, we see them go recruit Jean Grey together as older men, right?

I guess that's where I'm the most confused--does this movie have anything to do with the previous three? I want to say yes, because they harken back to Rebecca Romijn as Mystique, they use the opening bit with Magneto pulling the fence at the ghetto/camp as a teenager, Wolverine makes an appearance--but then other things just don't match up (as mentioned above).

I hate when movies confuse me, so this one gets a B. SO THERE.

Thor

One word to Chris Hemsworth: Hel-lo!

This was not my favorite of the Avengers "series" of movies, but I didn't hate it either. Could've used more shirtless Chris Hemsworth, for sure.

I liked the "earth" parts far more than the "Asgard" parts, because I hate when things are so completely computer generated that they're too perfect. It was beautiful, but also slightly...off. I don't know how to explain it.

However, the fight scenes were excellent, things blew up, and I laughed. Also, it has Ray Stevenson in it, whom I love because he is awesome. I was afraid Natalie Portman would ruin this (not a huge fan of hers), but I actually liked her character, so that's a step in the right direction. Gotta say, though, I loved Kat Dennings (her sidekick) much more.

Iron Man 2

DISAPPOINTING.

Sherlock Holmes and the Case of the Sexy Gentleman Fistfight

A movie set in Victorian London, starring Robert Downey Jr. and featuring an old-timey-sounding soundtrack where banjos and concertinas speed up and get loud during fight scenes? YES PLEASE!

Another Short Movie Review: The International

I could watch Clive Owen walk around being scruffy sexy for hours and not complain, even if he weren't in a movie. There's a movie, too? Great!

I have two main complaints about this movie.
1. Not enough nudity. WTF, male directors? The ladies need some action, too. The guy never even takes his shirt off - is that really too much to ask?
2. This is less an action thriller than a suspense thriller*, but there is one awesome scene in the Guggenheim that makes the whole damn thing worthwhile. However, it takes so long to play out that I nearly injured myself à la Grandpa Simpson in the backseat of the family car because I couldn't go to the restroom before it was over.

*If you want to get technical, neither "action", "suspense", nor "thriller" are words that can be accurately applied to this movie.