Savages

This movie is basically the drug dealer version of Twilight,complete with irritating, one-dimensional characters and dialogue written by someone who appears to be legally retarded. What happens is, there is this beautiful romance between two dudes who grow pot and a really fucking annoying blonde girl. It all works, see, because they're all so different! Sensitive hippie dude is sensitive! Crazy violent Iraq war vet is crazy and violent! Dumb pretty blond girl is dumb and pretty! Together, they have a really awkward threesome relationship where either one person is sleeping alone every night or else there is far more homoerotic stuff going on than most straight guys would be comfortable with. I'm all for gender equality in terms of polyamorous relationships, but logistically I'm not buying this. I can't wait for the sequel, wherein dumb pretty blond girl reproduces but doesn't know which one is the father. Oh wait, I've already seen that - it was called My Two Dads. Anyway, everything is awesome until the goddamn Mexicans try to horn in on their business and decapitation and gunfights ensue. I am sorry to report that far fewer people die in this movie than deserve to. Oh, and John Travolta does some stuff.