Intro

Specializing in short, honest movie reviews.

February 21, 2009

Movies I Don't Want To See, Exhibit B: Confessions of a Shopaholic

Unfortunately, I actually did see this movie. I blame the liberal media. Here is a synopsis:

Female Idiot: CLOTHES CLOTHES CLOTHES HONK BEEP

Male Idiot: RIDICULOUS CONTRIVANCES SQUAWK CHOMP

Female Idiot's Friend: I'M EYES AND A MOUTH ON A SKELETON BLAAAAAHHHHHH!

[Joan Cusack needs a new agent]

[John Goodman eats half the cast]

Female Idiot: LIE LIE LIE ISN'T IT ADORABLE HOW I'M AN ASSHOLE PATHOLOGICAL LIAR WITH HORRIBLE TASTE IN CLOTHES PEW PEW PEW

Male Idiot: SHOPPING! MAGAZINE!

[We descend to another level of hell with the appearance of JOHN FUCKING LITHGOW]

Female Idiot: BEEP BEEP BONK

Male Idiot: WEEEEEE OOOOOO WEEEEEEEEE OOOOOOOOOOO

Me: Well, it's not like I didn't know what I was getting into.

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