Unfortunately, I actually did see this movie. I blame the liberal media. Here is a synopsis:
Female Idiot: CLOTHES CLOTHES CLOTHES HONK BEEP
Male Idiot: RIDICULOUS CONTRIVANCES SQUAWK CHOMP
Female Idiot's Friend: I'M EYES AND A MOUTH ON A SKELETON BLAAAAAHHHHHH!
[Joan Cusack needs a new agent]
[John Goodman eats half the cast]
Female Idiot: LIE LIE LIE ISN'T IT ADORABLE HOW I'M AN ASSHOLE PATHOLOGICAL LIAR WITH HORRIBLE TASTE IN CLOTHES PEW PEW PEW
Male Idiot: SHOPPING! MAGAZINE!
[We descend to another level of hell with the appearance of JOHN FUCKING LITHGOW]
Female Idiot: BEEP BEEP BONK
Male Idiot: WEEEEEE OOOOOO WEEEEEEEEE OOOOOOOOOOO
Me: Well, it's not like I didn't know what I was getting into.
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