Intro

Specializing in short, honest movie reviews.

July 7, 2010

Eclipse

This movie comprises solid scientific evidence that a one-dimensional world is not, in fact, just a theory. I can't believe people actually like this movie or any of these characters or can sustain interest in this "storyline" for longer than 5 seconds. I think the Peeps version was better acted (What do you mean, nobody has made a Peeps version yet?). I've watched more interesting hairballs. Why on earth would two boys fight over Robot Bella, who is blander than vanilla icing on vanilla cake and has no discernible personality whatsoever? I heard that at one point in the movie they started using a cardboard cutout of Kristen Stewart instead of the actual human to save money, but they had to switch back because the cardboard cutout was too emotive.

There is a Facebook group called "When I was your age, it was Buffy and Angel, not Edward and Bella." Hmph! I knew Buffy and Angel, and you, Edward and Bella, are NO Buffy and Angel.

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