The Last 20 Movies I Saw!

HI EVERYBODY!

I'm sorry, I haven't reviewed a movie in about six months because I was starting a new job and teaching a class and being suuuuuuper pregnant. Now I'm going to have a baby any minute and I promised my co-bloggers I'd catch up. So I made a list and it turns out I've seen 20 movies since my last review (first run only--this doesn't count the probably 20 more movies I've seen at the New Beverly and Cinefamily and the Egyptian and the Autry Museum and ohhhhhh I see a lot of movies). Time to review all 20 in one post!

The Hobbit: Don't remember. Think it was just okay.

Zero Dark Thirty: Liked it.

Gangster Squad: Ha ha ha this one was a total mess. It was like Gangster Muppet Babies. At one point the gangster squad gets together in a bar and everyone yells "TO THE GANGSTER SQUAD!" and they all cheer and clink their beers together. Also Sean Penn is very silly in this movie.

Django Unchained: Loved it, especially the first half when Django and the German guy are bounty hunting. Not as interested in the plantation parts until shit starts blowing up. Christoph Waltz is the best. Also the scene where they ride out of town to a Jim Croce song is now one of my favorite movie scenes of all time.

Mama: Good and scary, but would have been gooder and scarier if they showed the scary ghost less.

Parker: We were the only people in the theater for this one (this is the Jason Statham-Jennifer Lopez movie you've forgotten existed) so when John went to the bathroom the rest of us scattered throughout the whole theater and hid from him. It was more fun than the movie.

Side Effects: Liked it but don't remember too much about it.

Oblivion: Liked this one more than I thought I would but it's not that great. I really liked the set design of his little secret cabin by a lake.

Pain and Gain: Some very funny parts, but overall it was too mean for me to really like it all the way.

The Great Gatsby: This cartoon was stupid. It also reminded me that I don't like the book.

Star Trek Whichever Chapter: Not as good as the last one, but still very good. I got into a fight with a lady who wouldn't turn off her cell phone because she was constantly "checking on her kids." She did NOT like it when I suggested she check on her kids in the lobby like a decent human being. But she couldn't punch me because I was pregnant. POINT: RINGHOFF.

The Fast and the Furious 6: YAY I LOVE FAST AND FURIOUS MOVIES!!!!!

This Is the End: Pretty entertaining, actually, if you can ignore the dumber gross-out "jokes". Michael Cera was good.

Only God Forgives: This was the new Ryan Gosling one by the guy who did Drive. It sucked and Kristin Scott Thomas was fucking terrible.

World War Z: Yay this one was great! I am sick to death of zombie movies and TV shows where it's all about a bunch of survivors who spend the whole time arguing and being drama queens. In this one, everyone works together to battle the zombies, and it's done really well, and you actually get a sense of the global scale of the thing. Highly recommended!

White House Down: This is exactly what you would expect it to be.

A Band Called Death: The current documentary style of interesting setup-sad downturn-belated redemption is getting old, but the people in this movie are so likeable that it doesn't really matter.

Pacific Rim: GIANT ROBOTS PUNCHING GODZILLAS? YES PLEASE! This is actually really entertaining all the way through because Guillermo del Toro doesn't take himself too seriously (like Michael Bay or some other horrible action director would).

The Heat: This one is formulaic and I could not be less interested in Sandra Bullock playing another "uptight neurotic career lady" role, but Melissa McCarthy is fucking incredible. She totally commits to her character being a monster all the way through, and is hilarious. Worth renting.

RIPD: Ridiculous and derivative plot, but who cares when Jeff Bridges is being so Jeff Bridgesy and the movie's only 90 minutes long and is completely entertaining? If you're going to make a shitty summer movie, it should be like this one.

THERE I DID IT! Tonight I'm going to see Slapshot at the New Beverly as my last movie before I have a baby. After that I'm only going to like MOMMY MOVIES so FUUUUUUUUUCK YOU!