Milk

Milk is really an extremely good movie. I don't have anything critical to say about it.

OK, that's not true. One thing. Sean Penn as gregarious gay New Yorker Harvey Milk sounds an awful lot like Sean Penn going full retard in I Am Sam. But you'll get past that. It's a fine film.

CC: Yes Man

Ah Jim Carrey. You look so old these days. But you're still funny!

Good and Plenty:
~Bradley Cooper. Hello. I know I've seen you somewhere before, but can't remember where. You're rather handsome. Please call me.
~I didn't realize this movie actually took place in L.A. until a scene where Jim Carrey goes to Spaceland. Where my friend's brother's girlfriend totally used to work! Which makes me sad, for being so naive, but also super excited! I recognized the ATM by the front door! WHEE!
~I loved the interaction between Carl (Jim) and his boss.
~On that note, the guy who played his boss (Rhys Darby) was awesome. I don't think I've seen him anywhere before, but he was hilarious.

Sour Patch Kids:
~One particular scene, which I won't spoil for you but which Lady Blogpants totally guessed, made me totally squirm.
~Got a little tired near the end.
~Zooey Deschanel, who I actually like, DOES really look like Katy Perry. And in this movie, her character sings. This wouldn't have been so bad if it hadn't gone on FOREVER.

The Curious Case of Benjamin's Butthole (Abridged)

Warning! This whole thing is nothing but spoilers!

Old Daisy: I am dying or whatever. Daughter, read Benjamin Button's diary out loud to me.

Daughter: OK.

Benjamin: I am a digital old man/child! I age backwards!

Young Daisy: I am an insufferable twat!

Tugboat Captain: I am totally fucking awesome! Oh no, now I'm dead!

Benjamin: I now look like a creepy college professor. I don't talk much and am pretty boring.

Tilda Swinton: I have no eyebrows. Your boringness intrigues me.

[sex break!]

Benjamin: I am now considerably younger, and much, much more boring. I love you, Daisy.

Young Daisy: I'm slightly less annoying than before, but not much. I love you, Benjamin.

[sex break!]

Young Daisy: I'm pregnant! I fell down the stairs, but the baby came out okay! It's a girl!

Daughter: What the fuck?

Old Daisy: Oh yeah, this weird backward-aging guy was your dad. I could have just told you here on my deathbed, but I thought it would be funnier to make you read it out loud.

[Old Daisy DIES.]

Me: BOOOOOOOOOO!

Short Movie Review: Quantum of Solace

If I ever see Daniel Craig in real life, I am going to aggressively molest him in a most obscene manner. I hope he's not in a church when I spot him.

I had one major problem with this movie: NOT ENOUGH NUDITY.

QUANTUM OF SOLACE

This was a big loud boring mess and at the end it just turned into Sahara.

CC: Bolt (in THREE DEE!)

Good and Plenty:
~Super cute. I think I "aww'd" myself through most of the movie.
~I laughed a lot...mostly due to the hamster, Rhino ("Stealth mode!")
~Miley Cyrus wasn't as painful as expected.
~I was glad that the dog realized fairly quickly that he didn't have super powers and accepted it. It would have annoyed me if it had dragged on and on as a gag.


Sour Patch Kids:
~I had been hoping the 3D would all crazy like it is in the Disney parks, but alas, it wasn't.

I don't have a lot to say here, but I definitely enjoyed this movie (as expected). I'd rank it above WALL-E, but below Kung Fu Panda :P

Another short movie review: Bolt

There's not much to this movie about a delusional German Shepherd, a bitter cat, and a wisecracking hamster on a cross-country journey to find Hannah Montana. The story line is weak and predictable even for an animated kids' flick, which they try to make up for by making the critters as cute as freakin' possible, as if moviegoers will be assuaged by puppy dog eyes and puff-ball, big-whiskered rodents.


IT TOTALLY WORKED I LOVE THIS MOVIE ONE HUNDRED THUMBS UP!!!!!!!!!!

CC: Twilight.

So...yes, I got sucked into the whole Twilight thing by a friend of mine. So of course I totally went and saw the movie. I need to begin this review with several disclaimers, however.
1) I hate Kristin Stewart. I'm sorry, but everything I've ever seen her in is EXACTLY THE SAME. Also, she can't smile. In every single premiere photo I've seen, she's either not smiling or grimacing. Ugh.
2) Though I like Twilight, let me be perfectly clear in saying that I don't think its the best love story ever, or best set of books ever. I liked it, it entertained me, but that's about it. I think Stephenie Meyer could have done better.

Moving on!

Good and Plenty
~Robert Pattinson. That boy is hot. And he actually acts (unlike his charming co-star).
~The actors that played the Cullens (Peter Facinelli, Elizabeth Reaser, Ashley Greene, Jackson Rathbone, Kellan Lutz and Nikki Reed). They were all awesome.
~ Cam Gigandet (who played James, the bad guy). Awesome sauce!
~ The glittering scene didn't suck as much as it could have. I was pleasantly surprised.
~ The ballet studio fight scene rocks! I actually wish it had been longer.
~ Billy Burke (who plays Charlie). He's was a very very awesome surprise...possibly my favorite part of the movie (which is saying something over R. Pats)


Sour Patch Kids
~ We didn't see nearly enough of the Cullens. Which sucks, because I loved the actors.
~ Kristen Stewart can't act her way out of a paper bag. SHOW EMOTION.
~ There were several instances where I was inwardly wincing at some of the dialogue--I don't think it was the words themselves, but how the actors were saying them.
~ I wish they had kept the scene where she finds out he's a vampire the same from the book. While less intense and scary, it creates a bonding moment for Bella and Edward that I thought was lacking.
~ I did not see/feel the chemistry between Robert and Kristen that everyone kept talking about...and I totally blame Kristen.

Role Models

No one as handsome as Paul Rudd has any business being funny. It confuses me. You shouldn't be able to have both. My celebrity pretend boyfriends tend to be funny but not very good-looking, but Paul Rudd and, for that matter, Jon Hamm are blowing the whole paradigm to pieces. That Jon Hamm is one hilarious, chiseled gentleman and it simply does not compute.

And I watched Wet Hot American Summer again last night for the first time in years, which reminded me that Paul Rudd is really awesome in it. He flips someone off in pretty much every scene. Go rent it now!

So Role Models is pretty funny, except for the very last part when Paul Rudd sings a horrible unfunny song. You should leave at that point.

CC: Zack and Miri Make a Porno.

So...I've been putting off this movie review, because I am unsure how I feel about this movie. Maybe my usual pro/con format will help me out?

Good and Plenty:
~I love Kevin Smith.
~I laughed quite heartily at many moments in this film.
~The sex didn't make me feel awkward...is that a good thing or a bad thing?
~I have some sort of weird, secret, disturbing crush on Jason Mewes, even though I actually don't really find him that attractive. I just don't know.
~Justin Long was seriously awesome.
~The supporting cast was also awesome.

Sour Patch Kids:
~Rom com! I like Rom Coms, but I was not expecting this to be one. I mean...look at the title!
~Parts of it seemed to drag...did they REALLY have to go to their HS reunion? Couldn't they have just run into Justin Long someplace else? You know?
~The "six months later" thing. Zzzzz.

Hm...well, since I have more "pros" listed, I guess that means I liked it! ;D