Oh boy this was great. The whole movie looked like Twilight had already come out and this was a parody of it. I pretty much burst out laughing everytime there was a dramatic slow motion vampire entrance shot. I also liked how the vampire makeup was just white cream smeared on their faces. Not their necks or anyplace else, just their faces. Also I couldn't get over how weird looking Robert Pattinson is. He has cartoon hair, a weird shaped forehead and needs to take a crap. He pretty much spends the whole movie looking like he's either in pain or getting hit with overpowering waves of gayness. I also liked how they constantly show the rest of the guys in the high school as immature. They're hyper and run around acting like you should act in high school (how childish to act your age!). The main girl can't relate to them because we all know that sitting around brooding or laying in a forest staring at a guy is way more fun and adultlike. God laying in a forest would suck. You would totally get your butt wet and there would be bugs all over the place. Also I can't think of anything more boring than staring at someone. Oh wait yes I can: Twilight!
The best part was when suddenly out of nowhere they play VAMPIRE BASEBALL!!! What is that you ask? Oh. It's where vampires play fucking baseball! In baseball outfits. My other favorite scene is when he throws the girl on his back and runs up the hill and his legs move all fast motion comedy style like in Baron Munchausen.
Also the main vampire dad guy should have been played by Matthew McConaughey.
1 comment:
Your reality, sir, is lies and balderdash and I'm delighted to say that I have no grasp of it whatsoever.
Me likey Baron Munchausen
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