Instructions Not Included

I only saw this movie by accident. Like most lazy Americans, I would never intentionally subject myself to a subtitled movie (or, you know, bother to learn a second language). But I ended up at a theater where I had to pick a movie based solely on the requirement that it must start within 15 minutes, and this was it. I admit that I entertained the idea of sneaking into Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs Part 2 when the subtitling thing became apparent, but I'm glad I stayed.

This movie is about an immature man-whore in Mexico who gets left with an unexpected reminder of his playboy ways - a baby. The mother leaves the baby and takes off, and the rest of the movie is a cute, sweet story about dad and daughter. The characters are generally one-dimensional but amusing, and the movie manages to be funny despite ranging from a little silly to over-the-top ridiculous. I won't say anything else so I don't give anything away, because you really should go see this movie. It's a good reminder about how you should be careful about judging other people because you really don't know the whole story.

I recommend Cinemarella not see this movie without a full box of tissues, because the end is pretty rough. Seriously. You're going to need to bear down.

YAY THE WORLD'S END!

Obviously, The World's End is a very good movie, DUH.

The Way, Way Back

I adored this.  Sam Rockwell is awesome-sauce.  The kid who plays the awkward teen was either a really good actor, or actually super awkward (I suspect the latter). Either way, it works.  Steve Carrell is awesome because I hated his total douche-lord of a character. 

I also appreciated that the end wasn't totally predictable/a happy ending.  Thumbs up, movie!

The Last 20 Movies I Saw!

HI EVERYBODY!

I'm sorry, I haven't reviewed a movie in about six months because I was starting a new job and teaching a class and being suuuuuuper pregnant. Now I'm going to have a baby any minute and I promised my co-bloggers I'd catch up. So I made a list and it turns out I've seen 20 movies since my last review (first run only--this doesn't count the probably 20 more movies I've seen at the New Beverly and Cinefamily and the Egyptian and the Autry Museum and ohhhhhh I see a lot of movies). Time to review all 20 in one post!

The Hobbit: Don't remember. Think it was just okay.

Zero Dark Thirty: Liked it.

Gangster Squad: Ha ha ha this one was a total mess. It was like Gangster Muppet Babies. At one point the gangster squad gets together in a bar and everyone yells "TO THE GANGSTER SQUAD!" and they all cheer and clink their beers together. Also Sean Penn is very silly in this movie.

Django Unchained: Loved it, especially the first half when Django and the German guy are bounty hunting. Not as interested in the plantation parts until shit starts blowing up. Christoph Waltz is the best. Also the scene where they ride out of town to a Jim Croce song is now one of my favorite movie scenes of all time.

Mama: Good and scary, but would have been gooder and scarier if they showed the scary ghost less.

Parker: We were the only people in the theater for this one (this is the Jason Statham-Jennifer Lopez movie you've forgotten existed) so when John went to the bathroom the rest of us scattered throughout the whole theater and hid from him. It was more fun than the movie.

Side Effects: Liked it but don't remember too much about it.

Oblivion: Liked this one more than I thought I would but it's not that great. I really liked the set design of his little secret cabin by a lake.

Pain and Gain: Some very funny parts, but overall it was too mean for me to really like it all the way.

The Great Gatsby: This cartoon was stupid. It also reminded me that I don't like the book.

Star Trek Whichever Chapter: Not as good as the last one, but still very good. I got into a fight with a lady who wouldn't turn off her cell phone because she was constantly "checking on her kids." She did NOT like it when I suggested she check on her kids in the lobby like a decent human being. But she couldn't punch me because I was pregnant. POINT: RINGHOFF.

The Fast and the Furious 6: YAY I LOVE FAST AND FURIOUS MOVIES!!!!!

This Is the End: Pretty entertaining, actually, if you can ignore the dumber gross-out "jokes". Michael Cera was good.

Only God Forgives: This was the new Ryan Gosling one by the guy who did Drive. It sucked and Kristin Scott Thomas was fucking terrible.

World War Z: Yay this one was great! I am sick to death of zombie movies and TV shows where it's all about a bunch of survivors who spend the whole time arguing and being drama queens. In this one, everyone works together to battle the zombies, and it's done really well, and you actually get a sense of the global scale of the thing. Highly recommended!

White House Down: This is exactly what you would expect it to be.

A Band Called Death: The current documentary style of interesting setup-sad downturn-belated redemption is getting old, but the people in this movie are so likeable that it doesn't really matter.

Pacific Rim: GIANT ROBOTS PUNCHING GODZILLAS? YES PLEASE! This is actually really entertaining all the way through because Guillermo del Toro doesn't take himself too seriously (like Michael Bay or some other horrible action director would).

The Heat: This one is formulaic and I could not be less interested in Sandra Bullock playing another "uptight neurotic career lady" role, but Melissa McCarthy is fucking incredible. She totally commits to her character being a monster all the way through, and is hilarious. Worth renting.

RIPD: Ridiculous and derivative plot, but who cares when Jeff Bridges is being so Jeff Bridgesy and the movie's only 90 minutes long and is completely entertaining? If you're going to make a shitty summer movie, it should be like this one.

THERE I DID IT! Tonight I'm going to see Slapshot at the New Beverly as my last movie before I have a baby. After that I'm only going to like MOMMY MOVIES so FUUUUUUUUUCK YOU!

Much Ado About Nothing

I'll come right out and admit that I'm totally a Joss Whedon fangirl.  Despite this, however, I was a little wary about this film.  I don't often care for Shakespeare mashed into modern times.

Somehow, though, this film worked for me.  It's not my most favorite thing ever, but I did love several things about it.  That fact it's in black and white really helps, I think, give it a sort of old timey feel despite the fact the actors are in modern dress.  There are several great/random shots (i.e. the poster of the gentleman in the scuba mask with the martini glass) that make it kind of artsy and fun.

I loved Alexis Denisof and Amy Acker as Benedick and Beatrice, though this might be due to residual Fred/Wesley feels (Angel reference! Nerd alert!), but my favorite performances are those of Nathan Fillion and Tom Lenk, who play the ridiculous leaders of the night watch/police.  HILARIOUS.

So, if you like Shakespeare and you like Joss Whedon, you'll probably like this film.  I went with two people who knew nothing about Joss Whedon, but like Shakespeare, and they both really enjoyed it.  If you don't like Joss/Shakespeare, you should probably skip this one.

Star Trek: Into Darkness

YAY STAR TREK!

I am pleased to report that the second new Star Trek film is very good.  I was a little worried it would be a plot repeat in the beginning, but it worked out.  I also now understand the fascination with Benedict Cumberbatch's voice--he shall make an excellent Smaug, for sure.

My only minor complaint is that I'm worried they're starting to get a little *too* silly with McCoy, which is a shame because I love Karl Urban's portrayal--dial it back, J.J.

I loved a lot of the effects in the film (especially the warp "trail') and I actually (gasp) enjoyed and noticed the 3D in this movie.  This is new for me...I'm  not sure how to feel about it.

Iron Man 3

Iron Man 3 is way better than Iron Man 2, but still not as good as the original.  I was pleasantly surprised with some kick-ass Pepper Potts moments.  I missed Tony Stark's humor, though...it's sort of there, but not like it was in The Avengers.  Tony was going through some stuff, though.  Apparently.

This particular Iron Man film is much more story-driven than the second one, which is likely why I liked it better.  Saw it in 3D, but it didn't make much of an impact.  I'm going to have to stop seeing things in 3D, because I'm never impressed (with the exception of movies being re-released, and only because I just want to see those on the big screen again...hi, Jurassic Park!)

P.S. Guy Pearce is creepy.  Ben Kingsley is awesome.

Oz the Great and Powerful

Here is a list of the things I liked about Oz the Great and Powerful:

1).  Some of the (CGI) scenery.
2).  The banter between Finley (the monkey) and the china girl.
3).  Some of the tie-ins to both the original source material (e.g. Glinda is the Good Witch of the South, as she is in the books), and the 1939 movie (e.g. the Wicked Witch of the West is green and has a broom like the one in the 1939 film; some of the characters in the beginning appear as characters in Oz).

Here is a list of things I didn't like about this movie:

1).  EVERYTHING ELSE.

My biggest issue with this film was that there was SO MUCH potential for a great, interesting story about the Wizard's origin (as well as that of the wicked witches), but that was HORRIBLY and irrecoverably WASTED in favor of computer-generated bullshit.  Also, all of the acting (with the exception of Zach Braff, who spent most of the movie as the VOICE of a CGI monkey) was fucking awful.

I fully realize that there was no way this film could have ever lived up to the 1939 original, which is probably my favorite movie of all time, and has been since I was a kid. (For the record, I know that the 1939 movie is not much like the original Oz book, which I've read).

I knew from the first time I saw a preview that this movie would probably either be a stand-alone original take on the Oz universe, or maybe even based more on the original books.  I did not expect it to be like the MGM movie, but I did hope that it would at least be good.  I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up.

ARGH.  We all know that I'm a Disney lover, but holy crap, Disney, what did you do to Oz?

Lincoln

Only a little behind schedule, right?  Anyway, I love historical movies, so of course I loved this one.  Totally get why DDL won the Best Actor Oscar--amazing!  A lot of the cast was pretty great; I was pleasantly surprised to see James Spader, and of course Tommy Lee Jones can do no wrong.  I can't see David Strathairn and not think of League of Their Own, though.

My 14 year old cousin seemed bored out of his mind, but being the history nerd that I am, I was satisfied.

Reviews of Movies I Haven't Seen: Silver Linings Playbook

My mom wrote the best movie review ever when she described this movie to me.

"This movie is good other than the 30 minutes of it I slept through."

Silver Linings Playbook

I actually saw this pre-Oscars, but was a total slacker about reviewing it.

Which is weird, cause I really liked it!  The story has sad moments, bittersweet moments, funny moments--all the best stuff tied together really nicely.  The entire cast is fantastic (obviously), and I have a new appreciation for Bradley Cooper, who I didn't care about one way or the other before.  Good job, team!

Promised Land

After seeing the trailer, I was hoping this movie would be a thoughtful and thought-provoking indictment of fracking and the big-money energy corporations that profit from it. It is actually a really long match.com profile for Matt Damon. "See, guys! Look how sincere I am! I am SO SINCERE! I am SO FREAKING SINCERE IT MAKES YOUR TEETH HURT!" If you don't see the "surprise ending" coming from a mile away, you are dumber than a dead hamster. Almost as dumb as Matt Damon's character, who, despite working for a big-money energy corporation that profits from raping the earth, is surprised like an innocent baby fawn when said energy corporation does something unethical.