DISTRICT 9 YAY!
Please don't fuck up the sequel. Please don't fuck up the sequel. Please don't fuck up the sequel.
September 7, 2009
Julie and Julia
OK, I loved Julie Powell's blog and book, and who doesn't love Julia Child? She's the Willie Nelson of cooking (no one doesn't like Willie Nelson, see). So I was simultaneously excited and trepidatious about Julie and Julia. Isn't that interesting? This review is off to a great start.
The Julia Child parts are pretty great, but the Julie Powell bits leave much to be desired. Amy Adams is way too cutesy-poo an actress to play this part. In her writing, Powell comes across as a sarcastic, funny person who enjoys cooking and sometimes has cooking setbacks. While her bloggery did end up to be life-changing, she only admits it in a slightly sheepish way, as is right and proper. In the movie, Julie is a harebrained twink who minces and cries and flails around like a god damned fool, while making melodramatic pronouncements about how life-changing her blog is.
It also really bugged me how her husband eats everything all aggressive Cookie Monster-style, open-mouthed with lots of horrible noises and food flying everywhere. We get it. You like her cooking. Go back to acting class.
The good thing about this movie is it made me want to go re-read My Life in France, so I guess I recommend it.
The Julia Child parts are pretty great, but the Julie Powell bits leave much to be desired. Amy Adams is way too cutesy-poo an actress to play this part. In her writing, Powell comes across as a sarcastic, funny person who enjoys cooking and sometimes has cooking setbacks. While her bloggery did end up to be life-changing, she only admits it in a slightly sheepish way, as is right and proper. In the movie, Julie is a harebrained twink who minces and cries and flails around like a god damned fool, while making melodramatic pronouncements about how life-changing her blog is.
It also really bugged me how her husband eats everything all aggressive Cookie Monster-style, open-mouthed with lots of horrible noises and food flying everywhere. We get it. You like her cooking. Go back to acting class.
The good thing about this movie is it made me want to go re-read My Life in France, so I guess I recommend it.
The Hurt Locker
This movie is directed by the lady who directed Point Break, and stars a guy from Modesto. Needless to say, it is totally fucking awesome. It's also a good reminder that HEY THERE'S A WAR GOING ON IN IRAQ. Hooray for Hollywood!
Sorrrrrryyyyyy
I have actually seen tons of movies lately but haven't been keeping up on my reviews. I'll write them now! Keep reading!
September 4, 2009
Real life sucks
You may have noticed the horrible decline in reviews lately. This is because we (unfortunately) have real lives wherein we can't sit and watch movies all day and then write about them. Boo hiss. Apparently we need things called "paychecks." If someone would pay us to sit and watch movies and review them, I'm sure we'd all gladly jump at the opportunity.
Several of us work in a profession that involves going to places where there are not movie theaters (sad, yet true!) and sometimes not even internet or cell phone service (GASP!) It's as horrible as you can imagine (akin to viewing Fear.com or maybe Cruel Intentions). Others of us are in graduate school. I'm seriously considering reviewing movies I've never seen but am getting through an unnamed movies-through-the-mail service. Just because. Prepare yourselves for my Pulp Fiction review! If I ever get around to watching it!
Anyway, hopefully things will pick up soon. I need buttery popcorn and Sour Patch Kids, stat.
Several of us work in a profession that involves going to places where there are not movie theaters (sad, yet true!) and sometimes not even internet or cell phone service (GASP!) It's as horrible as you can imagine (akin to viewing Fear.com or maybe Cruel Intentions). Others of us are in graduate school. I'm seriously considering reviewing movies I've never seen but am getting through an unnamed movies-through-the-mail service. Just because. Prepare yourselves for my Pulp Fiction review! If I ever get around to watching it!
Anyway, hopefully things will pick up soon. I need buttery popcorn and Sour Patch Kids, stat.
August 22, 2009
I refuse to spell this movie's title the way it's spelled.
The original Inglorious Bastards is a pretty amazing movie about a ragtag group of American outlaw/scallywag type soldiers on their way to army jail when their MPs get killed and they decide to carry out a mission against the Nazis. It's very entertaining. So when I heard Quentin Tarantino was going to make a remake, I figured it either wouldn't be quite as good as the original, or would be way better.
Wrong on both counts! It's way worse! First of all, unnecessary misspelling of the title for no good reason. Boo. Contrived. Second, I know it's not really supposed to be a remake of the original, but then why the hell use the same title? Then, the movie is supposedly about this group of Jewish Nazi-killers, but stupid Tarantino barely even introduces any of them so you don't give a crap about any of the characters. Having Brad Pitt trot out one of his backwoods accents is not enough. There's a secondary story (actually, it's sort of the primary story) about another vengeful Jew which could have been totally fucking awesome, and it does have a good payoff, but without enough buildup to make you really feel the catharsis one should feel when a Jew burns down a theater full of Nazis. Spoiler alert.
What this movie doesn't have: context, good storytelling, human interest, or innovative visuals. What it does have: the same old soundtrack, a lot of inane conversations, and another chance for Quentin to bring up his creepy foot fetish. Yuck.
Wrong on both counts! It's way worse! First of all, unnecessary misspelling of the title for no good reason. Boo. Contrived. Second, I know it's not really supposed to be a remake of the original, but then why the hell use the same title? Then, the movie is supposedly about this group of Jewish Nazi-killers, but stupid Tarantino barely even introduces any of them so you don't give a crap about any of the characters. Having Brad Pitt trot out one of his backwoods accents is not enough. There's a secondary story (actually, it's sort of the primary story) about another vengeful Jew which could have been totally fucking awesome, and it does have a good payoff, but without enough buildup to make you really feel the catharsis one should feel when a Jew burns down a theater full of Nazis. Spoiler alert.
What this movie doesn't have: context, good storytelling, human interest, or innovative visuals. What it does have: the same old soundtrack, a lot of inane conversations, and another chance for Quentin to bring up his creepy foot fetish. Yuck.
July 21, 2009
HARRY POTTAH
Ginny Weasley is the most boring, expressionless character THIS reviewer has seen since that monotonette from Twilight. That works out, though, since Harry Potter is basically a British Flat Stanley.
THAT'S RIGHT I'M DOWN WITH KIDS I KNOW WHAT FLAT STANLEY IS! TAKE THAT, KINDERGARDENERS OF AMERICA!
Ha ha, I originally typed "kindergartenders" and then had a hilarious vision of 5-year-olds mixing my drinks at the hipster bar I went to last night. Can you IMAGINE the hijinx that would ensue?
Anyway, Hermione is a decent actor and although Ron Weasley only has one facial expression ("about to puke"), he's more or less mastered it. But Harry, my goodness. No. Luckily for these child actors, Jim Broadbent showed up in this movie and awesomed it up pretty good. I really like that guy.
THAT'S RIGHT I'M DOWN WITH KIDS I KNOW WHAT FLAT STANLEY IS! TAKE THAT, KINDERGARDENERS OF AMERICA!
Ha ha, I originally typed "kindergartenders" and then had a hilarious vision of 5-year-olds mixing my drinks at the hipster bar I went to last night. Can you IMAGINE the hijinx that would ensue?
Anyway, Hermione is a decent actor and although Ron Weasley only has one facial expression ("about to puke"), he's more or less mastered it. But Harry, my goodness. No. Luckily for these child actors, Jim Broadbent showed up in this movie and awesomed it up pretty good. I really like that guy.
July 19, 2009
Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince
Not my favorite of the Potter films, but not too bad. Was pleasantly surprised with Rupert Grint's facial expression as Ron overcame the effects of the love potion. Was not pleasantly surprised with the Harry/Ginny kiss (spoiler alert)! Zzzz.
Thought the end with Snape should have been more dramatic, though I spose we all know why it wasn't.
Lots of funny moments, but I also spotted several moments when I thought things were either edited weirdly, or the dialogue was lacking. C'mon Hollywood, step it up.
I don't have a lot to say about this, which is sad.
Thought the end with Snape should have been more dramatic, though I spose we all know why it wasn't.
Lots of funny moments, but I also spotted several moments when I thought things were either edited weirdly, or the dialogue was lacking. C'mon Hollywood, step it up.
I don't have a lot to say about this, which is sad.
July 7, 2009
How to Ruin a Seemingly Unruinable Movie
Take an iconic Depression-era bank robber.
Remove all items of interest from his story.
Add dialogue so horrible even Johnny Depp can't save it.
Also, add Batman. But not the cool Batman. Just the frowny actor who plays him.
Fuck you, Public Enemies.
Remove all items of interest from his story.
Add dialogue so horrible even Johnny Depp can't save it.
Also, add Batman. But not the cool Batman. Just the frowny actor who plays him.
Fuck you, Public Enemies.
July 3, 2009
Movies I Don't Want To See: G-Force.
Okay, so we all know by now that I'm the kid-movie junkie that loves animated features and iCarly on Nickelodeon (or...maybe you didn't know that last bit, but its true. That show is funny, yo). I am apparently a 12 year old in a 27 year old's body.
But this G-Force thing? OMG you guys.
It makes me ashamed to have ever been even remotely associated with Disney. Srsly. What were/are they thinking?
Besides the obvious stupidity and ridiculousness, I was annoyed that the preview talks about a secret government organization of animals, and yet all the main animals in the movie are guinea pigs (and a hamster (?) and a fly? What?). Dude. Where's the dog? The bunny, even? (I am aware that Disney hates cats). The witty and lovable goldfish?? ARGH. Where's the horse kicking ass and taking names?
For shame, Disney. FOR SHAME.
But this G-Force thing? OMG you guys.
It makes me ashamed to have ever been even remotely associated with Disney. Srsly. What were/are they thinking?
Besides the obvious stupidity and ridiculousness, I was annoyed that the preview talks about a secret government organization of animals, and yet all the main animals in the movie are guinea pigs (and a hamster (?) and a fly? What?). Dude. Where's the dog? The bunny, even? (I am aware that Disney hates cats). The witty and lovable goldfish?? ARGH. Where's the horse kicking ass and taking names?
For shame, Disney. FOR SHAME.
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