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Specializing in short, honest movie reviews.

May 23, 2008

Indiana Jones and the Superfluous CGI Creatures of Doom

Dear George Lucas,

Fuck you and your incessant fucking need to cram your films with stupid little "cute" CGI creatures making stupid little "cute" noises. Fuck. You. What do CGI gophers and monkeys have to do with the storyline of the new Indiana Jones movie? The answer is nothing. NOTHING. NOT A THING. They serve no purpose but making me angry. I hate you, George Lucas.

As for the rest of the movie? Honestly, as long as the Indiana Jones music is playing, you could show me 2 hours of Indy having a tea party with his stuffed animals and I'd walk away more happy than not.

Of course, Lucas would probably insist that the stuffed animals be CGI and make cute little noises the whole time.

I hate you, George Lucas.

Sincerely,
Lady Blogpants of Renotowne
(a certified movie reviewer)

P.S. Aliens? Are you fucking kidding me? You had 19 years to come up with a plotline and all you could do was dust off Close Encounters and add a heavy dose of the Endor scenes from Return of the Jedi? Booooooo! Go back to Modesto!

2 comments:

Briggsmore Seven said...

In Raiders of the Lost Ark there was a cute monkey in it. It was cute because it was a real monkey. Then they killed the monkey so even the people who hate little animals would be happy.

Bird said...

i have to agree my fair lady (see what i did there?). I turned to Q and said, 'wtf is this supposed to look real?' 'fucking aliens?'

sigh...i blame lucas' lack of neck for this.